“How do you feel about this color?” She directed the laptop towards me.
“Sure.” I said with eyes fully glued to my work.
“Sure? You don’t even know what color it is!” Truth be told I didn’t. I didn’t know what it even was she held up. It could have been a plate of puppy dogs and I still wouldn’t have noticed.
“Blue.” Her eyes met mine as she walked off in a huff. It wasn’t really just a lucky guess. I knew the colors of our wedding. I knew the style we were going for; I helped plan it. So why was I uninterested now. Nearing the wedding, I couldn’t care less about the details I worked so hard to help plan in the beginning.
I think a lot of guys and girls can relate to this sentiment. I think that guys really do want to help with weddings in what way they can. Here are a couple of ways to get or help keep your fiancé interested in wedding planning.
First, find a gateway. Say I had a friend who never had sushi before. After badgering and pestering finally they say, “Sure I’ll try it.” We go to a Japanese restaurant and they say, “Nothing too weird, go easy on me.” So I order a plate of ikura or salmon egg sushi. That would be the end of their interest in sushi.
Weddings aren’t always a natural fit to the male demographic. We grow up with action figures and sports. We watch James Bond and Jackie Chan; weddings and design are not on our minds much. That doesn’t mean it is hopeless. Find something that your fiancé is into and go from there. Maybe he is into music; talk about a list of songs for the dancing. It may be a little early, but that doesn’t matter if it helps to bring your fiancé in. Sometimes television is a gateway as well. Reality shows can be very addicting if you find the right one.
Second, make decisions together. This one can be tough. If your fiancé is uninterested, this will be like pulling teeth but it is important. Think about a wedding like a television series. What happens when you miss some shows? All of a sudden it becomes very hard to jump right in and be interested. Same with planning a huge event like a wedding. There is so much that goes into it that if you don’t keep him informed, how can he be invested?
Finally, listen; really, really listen. I was super excited to help with my wedding. Being out of art school, I knew a lot of people who could help us out. Unfortunately between mother, future my mother in law and future wife I was left out on the decisions. What was frustrating is that it was never considered to take my professional photographer friend instead of the other choices. It was never an issue of how big I would like the wedding to be. The fact that I’m not a big fan of chicken wasn’t a hindrance to the Chicken Florentine entrees. I know this happens with everybody’s choices. Sometimes people go with this, sometimes people go with that but when I feel as though my opinion doesn’t even matter, why would I give it?